Lessons I've Learned From the First Week of School

The kids have only been in school five days and I find myself feeling multiple things seemingly all at once. This year is a lttle different than the last. Yes, I still have Cincess home all day. Yes, Chub is only gone to half day Kindergarten. Yes, I only truly get total quiet from around 1:30 p.m. til 2:50 p.m. when the older three are all gone and sis is quietly napping. However, it is different enough that I can TRULY see the changes that are on my horizon, in the short years to come!

#1 IT IS SO NICE! To have structure, peace and quiet for a portion of the day, time to get some things done - or not! Depending on the day.

#2 I MISS THEM! Terribly sometimes! Crazily enough I miss the noise at times. I will admit freely that the last few weeks of summer this year was a challenge for me! I was burnt out and frustrated. It felt like the only communication I was having with my children was the kind I would rather not be having. Yelling to be point blank! This newfound quiet has given me a glimpse of the years to come when I will have no end to quiet moments and will probably be begging them to PLEASE come visit and BRING THE KIDS! It is the glimpse of my kids growing up and leaving that is a heartbreaking realization of things to come and of time marching on. Look at how QUICKLY the last TEN years have gone by! Now I don't even have another ten with Tiny Man before he is gone! The bad thing about the quiet times is that I have a moment to truly reflect. How am I doing as a Mother? How are my children turning out? To tally it all up and see where I sit in the grand scheme of things. Not always pleasant but an important thing to do nonetheless.

#3 I HAVE OTHER THINGS I GET THE PRIVILEGE OF FOCUSING ON. I still remember the first time Tiny Man climbed onto a bus to be gone from me 4 days a week four hours a day. I remember standing out in the middle of Polk Ave. holding Ladybug in my arms trying not to cry as he struggled with his little preschool legs to climb those BIG steps. As the bus pulled away I remember making the conscious decisoin to not cry and fuss and to direct all of my attention to my little girl. It worked like a charm. I worried like all parents do when they have their second, third or whatever child that I would not be able to give my subsequent children the love and attention I was able to give my firstborn. Somehow, you always find the time, the moments. School is a HUGE factor in that for me. Maybe that is why unlike every other Mother this week I was not crying at the bus stop. I actually pretty much went home and did the Dance of Joy with Cincess. I haven't cried on the First Day of School since that first one SEVEN years ago! It doesn't mean that I DON'T have feelings about it. I just decided years ago that I would focus on the ones still at home, holding my hand and looking up at me seeming to say "I am still here, what about me?" It has only been five days of school thus far and I gotta say, Cincess and I are having a BALL! We have swung on the swings twice, gone down the slide , jumped on the Trampoline, read books, etc. It has been great! Chub is seeming to THRIVE already. He gets up in the morning and with hardly any prodding gets ready for the day, eats breakfast and gets his chores done. I know it is mostly so he can have time on the computer with no one else around telling him it's their turn, but I'll take it for as long as it lasts. He has really upped his game in the BIG BROTHER department as well this week. It has been really great to see my two youngest interact with each other without the influence of the older ones.

So, even though EVERY DAY, ALL DAY I am not surrounded by all FOUR of my children. I am reminded by the lessons i've learned from one week of school to enjoy the ones that I am surrounded by and to enjoy the moments I get with all of them. No matter how few and far between the years to come will make them.

I just won't think about the time when THIS little one gets on her first bus and there is no one else looking up at me to focus on. I'm not sure I will ever be ready for that lesson. Even though it comes in one short year!

Until then there will be plenty more of this going on....